New here - W unwilling to work on it

[30andLost]

I planned some GAL activity that may rub my estranged W the wrong way and I was hoping for some advice with how to respond to her in a 'Kind & Loving' manner when/if she asks about it. Or, if I should be up front with her so that it doesn't appear as though I'm hiding anything from her.

Before you answer, let me give you some more details about the situation. Since I left her and had one more night with OW before I cleared my head, she has been going out on every free night she has with her single friends to bars. I truly believe she is only doing this to have fun, not to pick up on guys and try to replace me. I have to trust that, she has never given me a reason to think otherwise (although my love-addict brain continually makes stuff up that drives me crazy, but I'm getting a handle on that). And what I have been doing is thinking about her constantly and worrying if/when she will ever take me back.

So, I have decided myself to stop this, and to GAL and go visit a friend of mine that is out of town. He is a friend that both of us have known for some time and I just need a break from my own insecurities and to spend time with friends, just like she does. Now, this friend lives in Vegas. Does that make it worse than if, say, he lived in Toledo, OH? I think not, but the perception will be there.

So I'm just looking for some pointers as to how to not attack what she's doing, in defending what I'm doing. And also to explain to her why I'm going in the event that she asks. Make sense?

Thanks for your help.