One year to the date of the bomb, my H said we are over for good. I spent most of last year DBing, and had made great progress. In October of 2006, my H ended things with his OW. Little did I know she was still calling, and begging him to take her back. In December, I found out about her phone calls and ultimatums. My H admitted he wanted to go back to her, but was still thinking about it.
We went back and forth through December with him telling me not to give up hope for us. First he wanted to just get through Christmas, and then on January 1 he told me that he would make a definite decision by the end of the month. It looked good for a while. We even spent the night together a week ago with him telling me he loved me for the first time in over a year and a half.
Friday he sent me a text saying he was leaning one way, that it would be a hard step to take, and that he was sorry. We talked for several hours with him backing down a little and saying he wasn't sure yet. Saturday morning he was still half unsure, and then by noon, he had talked to his uncle and knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted a divorce, he was going back to the OW. ???????
Within a weeks time he turned completely around. I'm not sure what his uncle said, but whatever it was, it wasn't pro-marriage. So, he is going to file next week. After a year of claiming he couldn't afford to, he now says it will only cost him $100 to file and $500 to finish it.
Saturday was very emotional, I told him he needed to tell the OW everything if he thought that relationship was going to last. He said he would. What I didn't know was that he was only going to tell her 5% of what went on last year, the truth did not include telling her that he was cheating on her since last April. I was upset, I did the wrong thing, and called her.
She of course did not answer, but I left her a voicemail telling her that he was not being honest with her, that if a man is willing to cheat with you, he is willing to cheat on you. He denied it, and she believes him. As wrong as I know it was to call her, I do feel like I have some sort of closure there.
I talked to him last night, and he said he still wasn't sure if he wasn't making a huge mistake, but he thought it was what had to be done. He said he doesn't necessarily want it to be forever. I'm not sure what that means, I think it was just one final way to try and keep all of his options open.
I asked him if he would not contact me for two weeks. I told him the kids and I needed time for the dust to settle. He agreed to it, but said he didn't like it. I think the time will do all of us some good. After a year of this, I am ready to take a breather from the drama. Maybe it is what he needs to.
I am not going to hold out much hope anymore. There will be no more fighting the divorce, if it happens now, I am ready for it.
