H and I had what I would consider a "good" talk yesterday. He seems to be quite attentive as to how I am feeling almost on a daily basis.
We talked about our sitch and he said - get this - that it has always been difficult for him to ML to me because he thinks of me as his "equal and friend" whereas all other relationships he has had in the past he has thought of the women as "sex objects". He is having a difficult time piecing the two of them together. His take on it (being that he has never had a woman as a friend) is you don't ML to your friend, you respect your friends and you just don't do that with a friend. Now that he is in a R with a woman that he considers a friend, he can't seem to let the two overlap.
We have always had problems in the ML department but it is a second marriage for both of us, we were older and it wasn't a really big issue for either of us
Now he tells me this? I don't know whether to scream or be relieved. I think I will take the latter on - at least if what he is saying is true, the OW was a "sex object" and he didn't respect her
Obviously we have a lot of things to work on and thank goodness he is reading a lot of books I have brought home from the library to assist us. The one he is reading right now deals with the "inner child" and I hoping it will give him some insight as to how to overcome this problem
Sheesh - when I thought I already had enough going on in my life
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
