Yes, a LBS can and should dream about it. I would have never thought it would come to this. I really gave up and was starting to move on big time. Only in the past few weeks has this been developing. Mostly since OW has been in the picture. Now, I have to rethink everything. What I'm saying, what I'm doing, how I'm living. It's really not like that euphoric feeling I thought I would have if she were to come back to me. I think if we do start to piece this thing back together, It's going to be as hard, if not harder than the initial breakup and discovery of her A.
Never say never is the only lesson I can take from this. I still have doubts, but it's still remarkable how far our interaction has positively progressed the past few weeks.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I can imagine. Wow.. that's a real mindf*ck (excuse my language... not very ladylike, I just like how it sounds). I didn't mean to be so flip about it b/c it is really your life. But I can see where that throws a whole new monkey wrench into everything.
You seem to have your head on straight in every post I've ever read from you. Good luck.
Your post are insightful, thoughtful, and very entertaining at times. I keep up with everyone's story on here including yours. I hope it turns out good for you one way or the other in the end to. Don't worry about the language, I'm ex Navy!
Yes, a monkey wrench is putting it lightly. I have to consider others feelings than just my own now. This board has really helped me to heal, learn, and move forward. Everything was just going happy go lucky for me and now this. As Ford puts it, I have to tread carefully here.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I think you are doing the right thing. YOU have decided that YOU were done and that YOU want to be happy. As long as it is truly what YOU want and not just a game or someone to fill the needs that your W left in you.
Tread lightly brother. Ben
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
No, it's not a game or any real need I have. In my mind, my M was over. I tried to reach W many times over for a long period, but she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I didn't intend on anything with the OW past a friendship. I guess things kind of progressed beyond what I thought they could or should. The OW is good company, we have similar interest, and we get along great. We go out with each other once or twice a week. I think She feels for me more so than I do for her. I have been honest with her the whole time and didn't make any promises. She keeps questioning my feelings for her.
I didn't start dating until about 3 or 4 months ago. I'm not even sure dating is the right word because I really wasn't looking for anything beyond friendship and new friends. I was just networking. I was seeing OW from 22 yrs of age up to 50. I was really having a good time and keeping it light as possible. I would usually cut off contact if I thought OW was getting to serious, but this last older OW really caught me with my guard down and seduced me before I knew what happened.
Now, I don't know what to do. Had dinner together with my W tonight before work. This would not be happening just a month or two ago. She told me tonight she is still thinking about reconciling with me. She knows about the OW. I couldn't think of anything to say in response to her. I mean, what do you say to "I'm thinking about getting back together with you"?
I still love her, but I don't know if I want to commit to a Woman who "has to think about it". Is this normal for a returning spouse that they have to think about it? Wouldn't they say they still love you and want to try and make it work? I know breaking it off with OW would hurt her feelings and I'm really not looking forward to facing that possibility. I don't want W to come back to me if it isn't out of love. I know I wouldn't take her back unless she gave up OM, so I guess that would be the real test. W is so guarded with her feelings that it drives me nuts wondering how to approach this.
Any advice or guidance would be appreciated. If anyone is going through "piecing", I'd really like to know how your returning S approached you with the ideal of reconciling.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
