I know it is easier said than done, but don't continue to blame yourself for the condition of the M. If the person I loved continue to tell me they have lost love for me and wanted me to move on, I would have taken their advice to so as to stop the pain. I did something similar. I contacted FOM mainly for emotional needs. Like you I discovered it did not provide me with what I need. You had the courage to tell your H. Don't loss that courage now to fight for your M.
Take petey2DB advice and work on yourself. There is little you can do about him.
