Sorry you have had to come to these boards but you couldn't be in a better place to voice your feelings and emotions. There are a great bunch of people here that will help you through whatever stage of your R you are in.
I don't know if I really can give you much in the way of advice, being I am a newbie (to some degree) too. But, based on what you have said so far, you really need to get out of that other relationship you are in so you can clear your head and start taking some action in YOUR life.
You have two little ones that need you 100% - that is your main priority. Trust me, you are young and the sex might be fireworks now, but that isn't what keeps a R together, not longterm anyway.
Sounds to me like you might be going through some depression so you might want to make a visit to your local GP to see if he might want you on some mild anti-depressants. I hate taking meds but I can tell you, if it hadn't been for them when my H had his first A (he's had two now) I would have gone insane. They were a real lifesaver for me at the time. This time around, I seem to be handling for the time being, but somedays I feel like I am on the edge again so I am keeping a close eye on things. It will also help you to sort things out in your life a little easier. It doesn't cure the ailment but it sure helps you to see things more rationally - which you aren't right now
Take a step back GM - you really need to get some things in order so you can look at this whole sitch with a clear mind (which is not easy to do right now)
Good luck hun !
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
