I'm not going to go over everything all over again. You can reread your old threads if you want to do that.
If I can, though, I'd like to recommend Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I think it will really help you to understand yourself and start recognizing who you are in Christ.
At some point, I hope you can recognize that you are a lovely child of God, the sister of Jesus Christ ... someone whom God intensely loves. God wants a closer relationship with you. He wants you to go to Him to heal the hurts in your heart, not to some guy who doesn't respect you. When you finish Captivating, you should read something by Neil Anderson, maybe Who I am in Christ or Victory Over the Darkness. It's just too much to do in this forum. Ultimately, Emily, you won't have a better life until you decide that you're willing to change in order to achieve it.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
