Come on now… you know the answer to why your BF acted as he did. Put yourself in his shoes. His job career does not look promising, he has debt problems, he is under his mothers thumb, his girlfriend (you) has put him on notice that she might have to leave him, he feels victimized in that he can’t do anything about it because of his ED. Now I know not all that is true, but maybe that is how he sees it? So for him, life sucks. Then you do a victory dance?
This is actually a good example of why too much differentiation can backfire. What he wants is to know that you are devoted to him and to feel that whatever success you have you share with him. Even then he will feel bad because he can’t return the favor (remember Dieda?) Look into the adult attachment approach to see if there is some way you can get him to feel like you two are on the same team and he is not the outsider looking in.
