Mojo is 42

[MJontheMend]

My birthday present to you is letting you know that you used a word I had to go look up: potager. Thank you for challenging me!

LOL.

I think it's great that you are doing the "self nurturing" types of things in the face of so many challenges. I find this so difficult, and you are an inspiration.

I've just come to realize that I was mixing my sexuality in with my lower, more basic security needs and I was also mixing it in with my higher, more spiritual needs for expression. I sort of visualize it like my personalized version of Maslow's hierarchy; a pyramid with Security Needs at the bottom and Self-Expression or Spiritual Needs towards the top. Sexuality is somewhere in between. All three are very important but distinct. If I feel desperate or insecure because I'm not getting laid, I probably am not doing a good enough job meeting my own needs for security. If I feel resentful or depressed because I'm not getting laid then I'm probably not doing a good enough job meeting my own needs for self-expression or spirituality. The only feeling I need to have about not getting laid is a feeling that I don't really know the word for- a word like "horny" but absent of the connotation of triviality that is implied by that word.

Anyway, the more clearly I can define the boundaries of my sexual needs/wants, the easier it is to build my life up and around what might be lacking in that regard-like a wall going up and around a window.

Sorry to hear about your sis. I hope they caught it early enough to manage it. Your H? I hope that someday he realizes how fortunate he is. And your son? Well, whether or not he drops out, it's really too early to tell if that is a "bad" thing or a "good" thing, isn't it?

Luckily, my sister's cancer was caught very early. The heartbreaking thing is she was trying to have her first child and that probably won't happen now. I am actually considering offering to lend her my uterus for 9 monthes if our baby sister will lend her some eggs and her BF will donate the cash and sperm necessary for such a procedure.

My son told me that reading Dostoevsky has made him mentally unable to deal with college. I told him that people who are made mentally unable to deal with college by reading Dostoevsky should stay in college because that is one of the few environments in which they might thrive. To which he replied "I am 18 so I don't need to listen to your advice anymore.". To which I replied "You are right. Good luck!".