Working towards home

[Rob1231]

OK, Ian, deep breath. Let's get a little perspective here.

You made a mistake. Your intentions were good and, had it not been for your "discovery", the whole act probably WOULD have been taken in the good spirit that it was intended. But, yeah, you accidentally intruded on W's privacy. And you're sorry.

And that's all. This is NOT the End of the World. Sure, W is upset, I would even say (now that I think about it from her perspective) understandably upset. But she'll get over it. This one slip is NOT going to cost you all the hard work you have done for months. Your W has seen changes in you for all that time, and she believes them because they are real changes. She'll calm down in a couple days, get over her embarrassment, and you'll be back on the road to success with your piecing efforts.

None of us is perfect. Don't expect yourself to be. Give yourself permission to slip up every now and then, learn from it, and move on.

Here's the important question: What are you gonna do now? Are you gonna lie down and QUIT? After all you've been through, all the strength you've shown us, are you gonna curl up and cave? I DON'T THINK SO. Instead, what can you do to get back on track?

First, I know you've apologized, but maybe a little more groveling is in order. How about some roses and a sweet, humble, sincere note?

Second, respect how much W was embarrassed. I imagine my own W's reaction to that sitch, and it isn't pretty. So, once you've apologized, just don't mention it again - for a long, long time. Instead, help her get over that discomfort by being your regular, happy, DBing self around her. This will only continue to be a big embarrassing elephant in the room if you act that way. Let it slide and get on with your lives.

Finally, learn from the mistake. You've come across a boundary that you weren't aware of - at least, not aware of its importance to W. But now you do know, so just be more careful next time.

You're doing fantastic, man. Don't let this little incident drag you down in the dumps. You're better than that.

And I honestly think, a long while down the road, you'll probably be able to look back at this and laugh about it with W. You'll see.