Nice to hear from you. Here, per your request, are my thoughts:
How her issues will be resolved:
O Surprising her with a stronger me that she looks up to. I have put together a letter in Swedish to assemble a “don’t destroy our town with new building” movement, in which I invite people to a meeting at our house in early March. It sounds fun to use American protest and propaganda methods in a Swedish environment, something people here are not used to. O Her getting a job (she is working on this, and I encourage it). She is a very proud person and not having a job, with a regular income, bothers her. She was irritated when I told her that I would be offered a job in Germany next week. O me setting boundaries for her. This is probably difficult to do now, but one way might be to state what a D would really be like (no being in the garden, no more trips together, etc.) O me going out, both for GAL, and for her impression of my being too introverted. I’ve been wanting to learn the Lindy hop for a while. This would be a fun assertion of independence. It appears that there are dance events every Sunday in the next town, so I hope to pop over this weekend for a look. o a satisfying roll in the hay would help also
In summary, an extroverted man to be proud of, with fresh inputs for her, a job with income, sex, adventure.
Signs that things are improving:
Less tension in the air Deliberate touching, even if only briefly, but this is a biggie. Opening up in conversation Signing off with love Not looking for an apartment Getting criticized, both positively and negatively
She invited me to be with her in the film club yesterday and we went out to a movie last night, the kids being old enough to babysit each other. We met people we knew there, to whose questions I had to respond, and you could tell that she was evaluating what sort of impression I was making, was I acceptable to present... It went okay by my book – hope she thought the same.
I will be gone for three weeks starting Monday, returning at the beginning of the kids’ school vacation week. Will be interesting to see what communication happens during that time.
(What bothered me about the counseling was that there was nothing new added, it just being an orderly straightening and regurgitation of my own ideas. I had hoped that the information of what sort of Jung types W and I are might lead to insights, or that he could suggest something new. So, while the C was fine, I think the next session will be with a more expert (like you and the other folks here are!) counselor.)
Must finish the 'stop building in our town' letter now - W is just walking the kids to school -
* * *
It snowed last night, and the lake is covered in a smooth white now. The view into the distance is muted, softened. A bunch of crows is flying around, circling down to our compost pile for scraps, circling up again when a schnauzer, with tail up high, gingerly walks nearby, on the icy sidewalk.
Best -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
