I know this is nobodies business but your own, but as you know I have been living in the attic for 18 months now.
Credit Card debt has always been a burden, which could only be cleared when the house sells and my Wife goes on her merry way.
Things have got really tight just lately, and I looked to the bank for a facility to tide us over, until the house sells. The answer - NO.
Living in a foreign country, cards maxed out, not being able to get money for food or petrol. Forget Christmas.
This made me focus on why things had got so bad, I new the wife was spending, but that had slowed down. It turns out that she was creaming off about 12k from the total family income. (Child allowance, Holiday pay etc)
There was NO WAY OUT
The desperation, caused by the bank saying "no", made me realise something,
I had Life assurances that had about 5 years to run, and as this was a relatively short time, I was waiting for the final bonuses, also it gave income protection to my Wife and kids should anything happen to me. Why was I thinking about her protection. This was her decision to leave the family/marriage.
So the realisations:
I was paying more in interest than the bonuses I was probably expecting.
Our monthly overhead would be reduced to the extent that one of us could afford to rent an appartment. Neither of us are trapped in the circumstance we are in. I can leave the attic.
I was subconciously keeping them going, in the hope that things would turn around, and get back to normal.
In summary I WAS HOLDING ON AND NOT LETTING GO.
Literally last week they have been paid out, and all debts cleared.
We could eat again, and buy toilet rolls.
Why am I telling you all this.
Things are never as bleak as we think they are, there is an answer, it was staring me in the face, but I did not see it, or did not want to see it.
So the cage door has opened further for her, and she still wont bloody go.
You will be surprised at the results, when you have totally let go, and they FEEL the attachment has gone.
