I'm so sorry for your pain right now. You have received marvelous, wonderful advice and I have little to add. Taking one day at a time, loving Nick and the children as best you can, is really your only choice. Can you find one healthy thing each day that Nick really wants to do, just for Nick, and try that for awhile? It may help.
The best advice I ever received was to pray that I would be changed, and H would be blessed. It irritated me exceedingly at first, but strangely, it seems to work.
