I just want to post you and tell tou how sorry i am for the pain that you are going through. I think you were the very first person to post to me on the Newbie board. My husband too refused to tell me who he was seeing and it was only through my own snooping did i find out that it was actually someone who came to our wedding. What i am trying to say here is that in the end it actually made me feel even worse knowing who it was, and i really gained nothing from it.
My husnad as also left, been 4.5 months now and he actually moved in with OW over the weekend. Someone pointed out to me on this board that it may be a blessing that they move in together because they will truley be spending alot of time together and the newness of the relationship will wear off quicker. Now that your wife has left, even though i know it hurts you deeply, will be better for you in the long term, because firstly it will alow you the time and space you need to become the independent and strong person you need to be and secondly i think your wife needs to go on this journey to resolve her issues and realise that OM is not what he is cracked up to be.
I want you to think about what you have said to your wife these last couple of days and ask yourself is this a person that she is going to want to come back to or are you just pushing her toward OM. I am saying this because i have also done some backsliding and let me tell you it does not work. My husband is far more responsive when i am upbeat and acting as if everything is just fine. Now that your wife is not living with you it will give you the opportunity to become more myserious, this will drive her mad.
I dont know if what i am saying is going to help you and maybe others will have better advice, just want to let you know that i am thinking of you.
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
