I have woken up this morning to your awful news, I am so sorry it has come to this.
You posting has really effect me, as it has brought a tidal wave of emotions and memories, of where I was some 12 to 18 months ago. But believe me, when I say that you will get through this, and life will get better and better.
Quote: She says we never talked about us over the last 8 months but she never would and I stopped et al Dbing rules but hse's gone anyway. She was just waiting, biding her time.
Be assured that all the talking that may or may not have taken place in that time would not have altered the outcome. The MLC’er have formulated plans, and must see them through. As you know my wife has not yet left, this has been due to circumstance not DBing. Whilst she has warmed slightly, I know that for her to come back, she has to leave first.
You know this relationship will not last, it will burn itself out, if you let it. Then your wife’s eyes will be opened to the life she left behind. You are all she knows.
In away I envy you, whilst the pain you are experiencing now is so intense, as Cinderellaman has said, you will have time and space to heal.
Quote: She moved out Saturday morning with my little boy.
I am also sorry she has torn the family in two; it is not only the hurt they cause to the spouse, but the collateral damage to the children. I suspect her choice of taking your boy, is that at 6, he would not be judgmental of her actions, whereas the others are of an age to form their own opinions and apply unwanted pressure.
Quote: I'm 41 and I feel like the end of the world has come.
Ooh! You young whipper snapper!
I know that it feels like your world has come to an end. I am 48, and life can and will be great. When you heal and come to the realisation you can do anything and everything that YOU want to do. Life is just starting for me at 48˝ .
Quote: She refuses point blank to tell me who he is./quote]
I find this secrecy fascinating. My wife has had all sorts of advice, from people. Constantly saying “My friend says …this, My friend says …that”. Yet, where are all these friends?, she is never out with them now, and they never phone her. What I am trying to say here is, treat this as an adolescent thing.
Interesting that if she wanted a divorce so badly, then naming the guy, in a divorce petition for adultery, surely would assist in her achieving quicker her “brave new world” . She, like my wife, still need to feel connected to us in some way.
Quote: To start with she insisted I would not be able to get over her affair so our marriage was dead in the water
Heard similar – ignore it.
Marvellous the conclusions and assumptions they jump to. My wife said the other day, when I said for the first time in months/years that I did not want any of this, “surely you do not feel anything, now”. They really have no clue as to the pain they cause, not only to me but the children, who have lived this nightmare daily since she told them of her intentions some 18 months ago.
I start this post to the effect that I envied you, and the unfortunate situation that you find yourself. Living this limbo, that my kids and I have, is not healthy. You have put up with it for 8 months, now you have the time and opportunity to heal. Take that time and use it.
Take care Nick, stiff upper lip, and all that crap.
