She sent me this text. "I am so sorry Nick i guess i thought you wouldn't find out and that maybe we would continue plodding along making no demands of each other"
This was after I went to see her at her sisters house. I keep asking her who he is and she refuses to tell me even though she says it ended just before Christmas. She said she ended it but who knows. When I spoke to her Friday night she denied she had or was seeing someone. HE gave her a diamond L shaped pendant, which she hid in her purse. She expected me to believe she found it until finally admitting he brought it for her.
I just cannot believe her capacity to lie. It just rolls off of her tongue like its the gospel truth. I found out she was having an affair 2 months ago when I saw a large semen stain in her underwear. Even when I showed her the positive semen test I did on the stain she denied it. Said the test must be wrong.
She says she is sorry for the hurt she has caused me but she sill maintains our marriage was crap for 20 years. She's rewritten our history to exclude me from any happy times she has had.
To start with she insisted I would not be able to get over her affair so our marriage was dead in the water and then moved onto the there is nothing left routine when I told her I had started the procees of forgiving her 2 months ago when I found out. She just uses any excuss so she can be free and single again.
I just feel so alone. I am a born again Christian and she was once. I could never kill myself because I love my Lord more than anything and I could not do that to her and my children but it just makes the pain even harder to bear. I wish I was not born again sometimes then I could end my miserable existence and pain.
Nick
me 41 her 40 kids (3) 19, 16 and 6 married 20 years, together 31 years since childhood
bomb Aug 06, affair started june 06 and still going on
