Wow, this is a real mess. And not one that you made. I do not know if he is in MLC, but no matter what the facts are what they are. A 36 year old man with small children is having an affair with a 21 year old woman. Not about you.
I could go on all day about why he came for Christmas(guilt and wanting to look like a good person).
And I will tell you a story. Back in 2003 when I was DBing and hoping I could save my marriage and I was living in the US and my X was abroad he called! He asked could he use his car while he was here on business. He came to dinner and I turned over the car and we had a nice time. I had hope.
When all was said and done it turned out that he had the OW with him and it was at his convenience, he took her to our home and all that.
I am telling you this because bad things happen to many of us. There are things that we never know until we go through them and then people tell their stories.
What I can tell you is that you will come out of this whole if you focus on you and your children. One step at a time. Take a hot bath tonight. I am very sorry this is happening to you. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Stay strong, cry when you feel it, and take the high road. Wonder
