Hi! I've been on reading now for about a month and have had one phone session with Laurie. I'm in really bad spirits tonight and was wondering if anyone could help so I can finally get some sleep!? Trying to get in to talk to Laurie tomorrow but haven't heard yet. Here's my deal:
MAY: Living in a beautiful house with husband, D8, D5, 2 dogs and the perfect neighborhood with family and friends nearby. Somewhat rocky marriage the last couple of years due to finances and my husbands demanding job and him never being home. However been madly in love with him since we met 13yrs ago. Married 8.
JUNE: Husband gets job transfer to another state and says that he has put his career on hold long enough because I never wanted to move and he is taking this promotion whether I go or not! We put the dream house up for sale, have to get rid of the dogs and Daddy moves away while I stay with kids and sell house. Girls and I are devestated!!
JULY: I go meet him in other state 3 times to look for houses. My visits there are strained due to me not wanting to move and I start suspecting there might be OW!
When I get back after last visit sure enough at home I find a receipt for flowers and other proof that there is someone else. A 21yr old girl-husband is 36! She worked with him at his job in our hometown. I confront him on all of the evidence and he says they are not having an affair but an "inappropriate friendship" she supported his career-I never have, she listens to him. BLAH BLAH AUGUST: I say I want a divorce due to this. He flies home and begs to me for 3days to move to new state with him - he can't live without me! SEPTEMBER: Girls and I move there and as soon as we get there he has an attitude with me. I ignored it and got kids in school, unpacked, decorated and the kids and I fell in love with our new surroundings! OCTOBER: 3WEEKS after being there he decided he wasn't happy in this marriage and hasn't been for a long time we should get seperated. So kids and I move back home - girls and I devestated again!! Now we live with my parents! To this day kids don't understand why we had to move we told them it was better that we went home while Daddy finished his job in other state, slim chance he may move back home in a year. No home of my own and he seemed just fine when we left even drove the moving truck back while we fly home! Oh how nice. NOVEMBER: His best friend confirms to me that yes he is seeing this 21yr old slut! I confront my husband over the phone and deny, deny, deny! I even found out she went to visit him there - in my bed!! He denies this also!! Next day I file for divorce! I still want him after all of this, why because he is MY man and I love him even for his faults of course family and friends do not get this - just forget about him they say. So November is spent with me crying, begging, pleading. He calls kids everynight and sends messages or calls frequently at this point says he misses us, still loves me but we just don't work together. He also visits twice this month both times we ML, I think we are on the right track then he backs off again. Also lots of phone fun if you know what I want. Pretty sure each time he comes to town sees HER, but have no proof. I feel pathetic! DECEMBER: He visits early in the month, the later for our 1st court date, which he missed because "he went to the wrong court" WHATEVER!
DEC.22 - I can't take it anymore have huge fight about Xmas and I stop talking to him. Then suprise, suprise he shows up at my parents house at 6am with presents and spends the whole day w/ kids and I. At this point I am so proud b/c I am practicing DB and its working!! When he leaves I say thanks for coming and talk to you later! He called ME on his own everyday after that! I always got off the phone first and acted busy - it was working all of the sudden he was wondering what I was doing! THEN I BLEW IT!!! 2 WEEKS AGO: He sends me a tm at work saying he is in town for the day had to go to his doctor (I don't believe him) says he wants to see kids and I and can I take him to airport in am? I should have said it wouldn't work out but I wanted to see him so bad it ended up that I met him at his mom's that night and stayed the night with him! It was amazing just like old times! Of course I got my hopes up and he completely backed off in the am and hardly said anything on the way to airport. SO- the last 2 weeks have been me crying, begging, pleading and calling, texting and basically pushing him as far away as I could! He has told me that maybe in the future we can maybe be together again but we need to go through with divorce because I am never going to change and everytime I don't get my way I do this. I know what I did wrong - why can't I stop myself. Now I am back to square one I just can't go without hearing his voice! I want my husband back. Please help me get control - is there still hope for us?? What do I do I can' eat or sleep and I'm losing it!!
