Some Advice Needed Please :)

[Heywyre]

As much as we are in the same "boat" we are all very different in our sitch's. No two people, or couples, are alike and everyone handles things differently.

In my sitch my H had 2 A's - both with escorts (long term) so the emotions etc that I am dealing with are quite different from a lot of others on this site. However, the pain, hurt etc. doesn't change. It is devastating to say the least. However, I do know that he didn't kiss her, nor did she lay in his arms while he told her he loved her - he claims that didn't happen and I believe him. With regard to the sex - it was strictly a physical release on his part - especially when you are paying someone. However, that doesn't mean there wasn't an emotional connection. He has always been a compassionate person - feeling sorry for the down and outers. He helped a lot of prostitutes when he lived up north, while he was driving taxi in his younger days. He didn't get involved with them physically at that time but always had compassion for them when they would get themselves into a bad situation. Its very complicated but I know a lot of his issues are because of him being adopted, and not finding out until he was 55 years of age. There were lots of other things - i.e. depression, etc. but we are trying to work through all those things one day at a time.

In the meantime, I still love him more than anyone else in this whole world. He is my friend, first and foremost, and I won't abandon him - we are trying to build from there. I know it will be a longhaul but together we can get through this.

Having him tell the C the other day that I was a "very strong woman" and was "rising above" all the pain and hurt he had put me through made me feel pretty good.

He is making an effort like never before so I am optimistic (although not totally blind-sided) to the fact he is trying to make a go of it. I can't really ask for more than that.

thanks for understanding - we need to stick together