Some Advice Needed Please :)

[fandgmom]

My H gave me lots of cards too, and basically I knew he meant what they said.

This is where our sitch's are very different. My H NEVER gave me anything during our entire separation, during the A. No emotions, no blowing smoke up my behind, no cards, no physical attention, just sheer coldness pretty much - he fit the "alien" definition to a tee & I would also say that he did not lead me on, (sure, he voiced confusion and ambivalence about getting a D) but he still always told me that he lost his feelings for me and that he just didn't want to be with me anymore (the person I used to be) As I said, he really was brutally honest with me, to the point that he shared things with me that I almost wish I didn't know. He was angry, cold, distant, would dump alien spew on me at any given moment...yet at the same time, he would confide in me. It was all very strange.

My H is giving me cards (2 beautiful, heart felt cards to be exact, since we got back together - 1 for our anniversary and 1 for christmas - so I am not saying he is giving me "lots" of cards) NOW that he moved back home, NOW that we made the decision to stay together and make our marriage work...he never gave me a thing during our separation (which is also the only time the affair went on) so as I mentioned, our situations are very different.

I totally agree with you that actions speak louder than words. But as I said before, I have not had a concern regarding my H's actions. They speak volumes.

I understand that you didn't mean offense but I felt that I needed to distinguish our situations because they are in fact, very different.

Thanks Faith, for your encouraging words. You're a doll.