That was a very touching card - but (isn't there always one of those? ) - Anyway, my H was constantly giving me cards, sending flowers etc. during both his A's. I look back on some of those cards (because I keep them all) and wonder what the friggin h?ll he was thinking giving me those things while he was screwing some OW!! HELLO!! sometimes I think it was more of guilt trip he was taking than really meaning what was said in those things.
Well, I have come to realize that I have to separate the two - his life with me and the life he had with the OW. During those periods of his life (aside from all the other crap/issues he was dealing with) he admitted he never for one instance thought he would leave me, it just wasn't an option for him (of course, not taking into account that it might have been an option for ME).
Regardless, he was oblivious to the fact that this might ruin his marriage. He just continued on (most likely presuming nothing would be found out and he could just end it when he got it out of his system - apparently what he was doing the last A when he got caught)
So, as much as those "words" might mean a lot to you (and possibly to your H as well) actions speak much louder than words. He has to SHOW you that he cares not just butter you up with some fancy words on a card (that someone else wrote).
My H, this time around, is approaching the A much differently than the last time, which I truly believe was the reason it happened again. He never truly dealt with the emotion/logic of it all. He is reading books, we are talking (which he initiates most of the time) he is looking at me in a different light and realizing how lucky he is to have someone that is "strong, intelligent, and can rise above all of this" - his words, not mine.
I know that sounds harsh and you are grabbing at anything to believe at this point but you must try and let the logic override the emotion (much easier said than done by a long shot). If he really truly loves you and your family - then he has to start showing it - end of story!!
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
) - Anyway, my H was constantly giving me cards, sending flowers etc. during both his A's. I look back on some of those cards (because I keep them all) and wonder what the friggin h?ll he was thinking giving me those things while he was screwing some OW!! HELLO!! sometimes I think it was more of guilt trip he was taking than really meaning what was said in those things.