What is it with the 30's

[Ophelia]

I think Men that go through this same process whether it's midlife crisis or whatever are influenced by what they perceive in their mind as something wrong with their life.

That would seem to be true in my case. My H just turned 29, and I believe he's in MLC of sorts and has decided that the old life (ie: me) is what was wrong, so he wanted out so he could better his life.

In our case, H was overweight when we met, and when we got married. He'd been in great shape in highschool, but after that he kinda let himself go a bit. Anyway, over the last year or so, he got himself healthy, (and I helped him out by starting to cook interesting and healthy foods, which was a great new hobby I really enjoyed, which I no longer do), he dropped a whole lot of weight and gained a whole lot of muscle and energy. He was a whole new person.

It was a massive change in his life, but evidently he didn't think that that one change was enough. All of a sudden he felt capable of doing more, he was more confident, and he saw me as being the good old ball and chain holding him back. He was now more outgoing, but I was still quiet and introverted. He was supporting us both financially, and had credit card debt, so he just saw me as a money pit, digging him further in debt, (actually, this past week, he mentioned in an email that he was still losing the battle with paying off his credit card...I suggested that if he'd been taking the money he used to spend on rent and groceries (he's now living with his parents) and put it on the credit card, surely that would consistently chip away at it....I got no response to that). He was now more eager to be more sexually active, and I still had a low libido.

I was what was wrong with his new life, and was probably a constant reminder of the years when he didn't feel great about himself in a physical sense. He spent months convincing himself of that "fact", until he got to a place where he believed there simply was no salvaging the marriage. So he left, and roughly 3 months later, he's already with someone new, (a fact I only found out last night).

As far as the whole biological clock thing goes, I can tell you that since H left, MY biological clock has started ticking outta control. We hadn't had kids yet, but probably would have been starting family in the next few years. Now I'm pushing 30, (turn 29 in Feb), and am on my own. I have no desire whatsoever to be with anyone else anytime soon, and I'm not the sort of person who will jump into having kids with someone I've only known for a year or so. Biologically speaking, I just don't have the time, so am now faced with the prospect of never being a mother.