Hi Ophelia - welcome to another Australian girl. I'm Australian too - from Canberra. There aren't too many of us around nowadays.

Girlfriend you have to get a grip. At times in your posts you sound like a psycho stalker. I hope lunch with Hs mum went well - but you need to cut her out for a while.

You need to cease contact with H and his family and you need to do so for alot longer than the week that you did previously.

This is the time you have to focus on you - on GAL (Getting a Life). What do you do? What are your hours at work - could you put in longer or better quality hours for the time being to get your mind off this stuff?

What about activities - What do you like to do? How are they scheduled into your life.

What about things you've always wanted to do but haven't had the time.

The best way to deal with this tough time in your life is to fill you life up with things that take your mind off it. I kind of "layered" my life, so I had work, when I wasn't at work I was at the gym and when I wasn't at the gym I was spending time with girlfriends or my family - once a week I took a class (there are heaps of community night courses you can do), I took golf lessons, did a lot of hiking and I was finishing my Masters, so I took an extra subject.

Being really busy is a great way to get through the crisis.

Excercise is absolutely important too. Not only is it hard to focus on your broken heart when you have a heart rate of 160 and your sweating like a pig - but exercise is also very good for depression. When we become depressed, we often have no energy or motivation. As a result, we become less active. Doing regular, physical exercise helps to relieve mental and muscular tension. Physical exercise, such as walking, swimming, dancing, playing golf or going to the gym, is helpful.

You need to take this time of transition and focus on you - you should be aiming to be the best person you can be, so that if your H starts to miss you and if he decides to reconnect - he'll find an attractive, desirable, busy, happy girl.

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.