He said he's seeing someone new

[Ophelia]

Well, so much for the no crying, and you can add puking to the list as well. I did manage about 4 hours sleep, but now of course I'm up again and don't know how to get back to sleep. No response from H yet, but it's still early in the day, so who knows.

I went and wrote down a bunch of things I wanted to say to him, not the really nasty stuff, more like just letting him know that I don't consider this a deal breaker, and as far as I'm concerned the OW may as well not even exist...stuff like that. I've since re-read a couple sections of DR though, and have decided not to read him the letter as I'd originally planned. It won't change anything, in fact, could only potentially make things worse, so I won't waste my time.

I do still want to know the basic who/what/where/when though. It may not be wise for me to ask those things of him, but if I don't, then I'll just go literally out of my mind wondering.

There is one person I feel I could talk to about this. One person who I know has been in virtually the same position. About 6 years ago, she discovered that her husband was having an affair. He wasn't apologetic in the slightest, believing he was doing nothing wrong, but she was determined to save her marriage and stuck with him. It was only when she suggested that they stay together but have an open marriage that her husband decided he didn't like the thought of her having a boyfriend, and that was the turning point for them. I know it still affects her to this day, even though she's not blatant about it. I know she would know what I'm going through, and would be an ideal shoulder to cry on.

One problem though, this woman is my MIL.

I can just imagine how disappointed she must be that her son is doing the same thing her husband did. Back when FIL's affair happened, and H saw how utterly destroyed his mother was, he vowed to never become his father. Hmmmm. Indeed.

I know she'd understand exactly what I'm going through right now, but considering who she is, I guess I can't really go there, can I?