Hi K. Sorry you're here...but under the circumstances, it's the best place to be. Hang tight here....many days it will be your saving grace. You will find that in your entire life, no one will know about your situation more than the friends you make here.
Read the resource threads. Read the current threads. You will start to see trends, the "alien spew," the OW dramas, the cycling, the lies, everything. You WILL see your H become a horror show of the wonderful person he was. He will take it out on you. He won't be the best dad. You will see him doing "wonderfully" on the outside and want to scream.
Not trying to get you down. But I, nor anyone here, could ever expect what a rollercoaster of horror shows this would be. But, you don't have to ride all the time. You can get off, and walk in your own life.
W2S and others here are right on. Focus on YOU. Detach. This is a wonderful time for you to change all the things about you that might not have been the best during the M. FOR YOU. Focus on your kids. Be the best mom you can be now. Draw on family and friends, for laughs, cries, and an ear. Come here and post your heart out. Get a life. It will be hard at first, then each week you will see that the hole in your heart gets filled...the space is no longer lacking.
You will see the color come back into life, and you will start to dream again for you. But there will also be days when you wake up and you can't believe this is happening.
There are the 6 stages for the MLCer, but there are also stages for the LBS. We go through them. The shock, massive changing, desperation, numbness, acting as if, and the breakthrough to detachment, and living again, grieving and mourning what was....regardless of the outcome.
Above all, remember always: you are dignified, smart, wonderful, beautiful, classy and graceful. You are full of life and values, you are IMPORTANT. You are wanted and needed.
