Some affairs last only a short time while others can go on for many years. I imagine they differ so greatly based on the people involved and where they are in their life. My husband's first affair (we were quite young at the time) lasted about 2 months. It was an EA and he ended it just before it escalated into a PA.
The second affair (I call it the MLC "exit affair") lasted about 6 months. Quite honestly, I think it might have lasted longer if she had been single and lived locally... although that's hard to say. The distance (with only occassional business trips where they got together), might have fueled it by keeping it in a fantasy state. Unfortunately, (or others tell me fortunately), I don't know enough of the details to understand why it lasted the length it did and what the "draw" was. I'm not even sure what killed it but I suspect it was me telling her husband about it.
Now, on the other hand, my father-in-law had a 10-year affair with his divorced secretary. He eventually divorced his wife, was alone for awhile (because OW was hesitant to marry him), but eventually she did and they have now been married at least 5 years. I suspect the only reason he doesn't have affairs anymore is he's retired and too old!!! I believe he did have numerous affairs throughout his marriage.
So the length of affairs, reasons, etc... can differ quite a bit. I would think co-dependency can be a very strong bond.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
