My W has been trying to tell me she is choosing ME, and not OM. Now, being hurt back then (I still am) made it that much harder to believe her. And I WANTED to believe her. Every day she would tell me she loved me, and she wanted me to trust her. I wanted to believe so much that my hurt simply blinded me about her motives. I didn't know WHAT to believe. It will be hard earning her trust back. Your H needs to EARN your trust back, and that will TAKE TIME. A LOT OF IT!!!
Don't rush this thing. I know it is hard to convince him that you are changing, but the M also needs to change. He will come around if you stick it through. If you need to vent, or cry, or just get emotional over stuff, just do it here, and away from others if you can. I find myself not crying anymore, but I too get a teary-eye every once and a while. We are all human, after all.
All I can say is to keep validating him, listen to him, do the things that you know are right in order to change the dynamic of your R. Stay away from negative people - those that mean well like family and friends, and keep your PMA up! Remember PATIENCE.....it will take time.
Understand that your H will struggle with this, I still do. I've just learned to control most of my anger - against my will, but it is the SANE thing to do!!! Just give him space when he needs it, and take care of yourself too! I've learned the hard way that my anger only pushes my W away - it does nothing else!!! So I am learning to cope and stay focused on the positives. It is hard to do at times but you will see the changes.
Hang in there.......
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
