GC Sounds to me like you are doing helpful things, I may be too close to the front side of this to be any help. My sitch is recent enough(<2 mos.) that if my W convinced me A was over and she was committed to trying, I would be on board. She has said A is recent development, and I think that may make a diff as well.
At this point, I can see that it is all fantasy, but that probably hurts even worse, why can't SHE see this? Maybe saying it was all fantasy has the same effect after the fact.(again, I don't know if any of this will help)
Unfortunately, I really think the key is going to be time and consistently being there despite his anger. That would show me that W is serious. I know when that time comes for me, reestablishing trust is going to be difficult.
