I am really hoping those dizzy spells are going away. That can be an indicator of severe stress!! Personal experience from the D. I had migraines, dizzy spells, and could not eat.
You do have an unusual circumstance with your son. And if your X is a controlling type, you might still be trying to live up to his expectations. You just have to do what you must and let go of those expectations. You have to KNOW in your heart (and I think you do) that you are doing the very best for your son and have his best interests at heart. Just be secure in that knowledge and let him cast his stones. If you're hurt by those comments, just don't let him on to it, which I don't think you seem to do.
Like you pointed out, I really am not versed with the MLC stuff. I still maintain my ex was really going through some severe mental problems outside of MLC (which might have been a factor, but his behavior was way too weird to fit into any real "stages"--I just felt that he went through a few things together.)
If Chuckles doesn't think that anything is perfect, then he has the right to say something. You don't have to take it on though. It's hard to develop a thick skin with these guys, this much I know. My ex was very critical of me during the divorce...of course, I didn't match up to a dingaling bimbo who didn't give a hoot about her kids or the example she set for them. I mean after all, what woman in their right minds would call themselves a PayPal whore and get busted for felony drug theft when they have two small kids not even in kindgergarten?!?
So that said, I wondered about these guys' judgement abilities. I sometimes think their "perfectionism" is a cover for their insecurities or guilt. Maybe your ex wants everything to look "right" but doesn't have the guts or desire to help out and MAKE it better with some of his efforts too?
There is just something about men in midlife who go through this strangeness. I never would have pegged my ex as strange as he became when we married. But I guess there was something inside of him that needed to be medicated through teenage sex, drugs, and rock and roll behavior. You can't tell me someone who's done some of the baloney our exes have done can't have some guilt inside of them. Problem is they can't deal with it through showing remorse or even giving anyone an apology.
Yeah I know about dodging bullets. And I am sooooo happy I don't have to deal with my ex in any way right now. I reckon that day will come sometime in the not to distant future. We have at least three graduations with the girls in the next few years. The first happens next year when the oldest graduates with a PhD from Penn. I cannot imagine the ex NOT wanting to be there...this is a very significant family event. I just glad I'll have a year to steel myself for that one.
Yeah, Jilly and Leenie and I are supposed to get together in March. I need to get through some craziness here with a job offer and possible move first...then I'm going to absolutely need a wine guzzling pj party.
