Good observations! I agree, I did not stop standing due to hopelessness. I'm sure that I could have gone on forever if hope were the only thing making me stand. Because we can always count on good ol "FALSE HOPE" to get us through. I even remember in the early months KNOWING that I had lots of false hope, but assuring myself that it was ok, because whatever it too - it was fine for the time.
Overcoming the fear of the divorce and everything that it entailed was one of the biggies for me in addition to the other things that I have already mentioned. I was very worried about financial things. Emotions, love and keeping the family came first, financial came second. I had 3 kids living at home. I lived in a huge, expensive house that was handicapped accessible. I didn't know how I could manage it on my own (he offered VERY little support) and I didn't know what my other options for a good living arrangement could be. And the kids were BEGGING me not to move.
Eventually, I overcame all those fears. I learned that I COULD do it on my own financially (though it was hard and I saw my savings diving). But there was a feeling of empowerment that came with that.
Skip forward 5.5 years and I am living in a smaller home. I have made it accessible and continue to make improvements. And all the things materially that were SO important to me are less so now. Life DOES go on. And for me - it has all worked out just fine.
So, these things played into it as well. But as you say- every situation is completely different.
