Hi, sorry it took me a while to get back to you. Your post is meaningful and I think is quite accurate, though even if he is awakening to a different level - I doubt he is even subtley aware of it.
He is still so off the wall with my daughter. Says strange things to her - seems to give her bad advice with respect to college, her future etc. I have learned not to say too much. Ashley is a very intelligent girl and knows her own mind and knows when her father isn't speaking in her best interest.
I do think that my ex was checking out what was going on in our house. The kids really tell him nothing. They got so tired of his criticism. He left, yet he continued to analyze everything that we did. They found it was easier not to give him any info - then he criticized them for withholding too. Strange how he can't see how much damage he continues to do to their R with him.
Many people can move forward without hearing regret from their Ex. I am no exception, but I can't honestly say that I wouldn't like to hear it. I can't imagine him not feeling it and Ashley mentions things he has said from time to time to that effect.
I totally agree with you about their projection of their anger towards us as really being the anger they feel towards themselves. I have seen much evidence of that in the past 5 years. And I'm sure it is tinged with regret. You have to wonder how a man feels marrying a woman after he has said to me "She will never hold a candle to you, Barb. She is not even close". If maggot knew that, would she not feel inferior too? I'd like to speculate that maggot DOES know it. In fact, she did such a good job of spying on me and intercepting messages that I doubt there is much she missed. And that would certainly explain her nastiness towards me and her controlling behaviour towards him. She is insecure and has to cling tight. So be it. Kind of makes me laugh at the patheticness (is that a word?) of it all.
I thought more about regret after hearing of my friend's ex apologizing to her over 20 years later. And Naej's Ex, who after 5 years of no contact with the kids, emails them, sends greetings and "give my love to your mom". WHAT????
Your insight is appreciated. I'm sure I won't give his behaviour much more thought, but sometimes we need to look at where things are and if there's a chance of making things better for the kids - always do the right thing.
