I am back from Toronto but still have much to catch up on. I will be replying here one reply at a time.
I am truly glad that I started this thread. I think that sometimes we have to go back - it is from our history that we reinvent our futures. Sometimes things only make sense and we can only understand better when we are looking back. Some things aren't the best to revisit, but revisit we must.
It has been 19 months since my Mom passed away. If you will recall, my divorce became final the same week. Talk about a bad week! I got through it, picked up some of the pieces then left for the cottage (my usual style of dealing with things - go on vacation!). And I processed some of my feelings - good, bad and ugly. Then I supressed some feelings as well.
6 months later I attended a memorial for my Mom. And the minister talked about GRIEF. Something that she said really stuck with me. Grief is something NOT to put away in the drawer and forget about. Sometimes you have to take GRIEF out and try it on. And feel it. And remember. And cry some more. Because that is the way you get through it. You have to feel it.
I remember being told this about what was going on with Ex when he left. The only way to get through the grief was to go through it. And I didn't want to. I wanted to skirt it somehow. To go around it, but never to go through it. Eventually, I had to deal with it all though. And I did. And I became a survivor.
And so, looking back I can truly say that it is ok to say "get over it and get on with your new life", but once in a while you have to get the feelings out. You have to grieve. You have to feel it. And then you go on once more.
Before I have time to really reply, I do want to say that the dizziness I was feeling earlier in the week had nothing to do with Ex's phone calls (well, highly unlikely), I was not that moved by them - more curious than anything about what might have prompted them. I had been put on a new prescription on Tuesday and I think THAT was the cause for the fatigue and dizziness. It seems to be sorting itself out now but some herbal tea is helping.
