Barb, I do understand what you are trying to do--have a civil type of relationship w/xh. Civil was the word I was thinking about last night and it just didn't come to mind.
Nothing says that you ever have to open the door again for a reconcilation. That's your decision and I respect that. You were pretty much beaten up just as I was in those early days and boy the damage was quite bad. So, I can understand where you are coming from.
Barb, I truly believe you will figure this out and know how to be "civil" w/him. No one says you have to be best buds after all of this time. Just think, you both have children together and that means there will be family affairs that you both can't bow out of because the other is attending and that's why it's so important to at least talk to each other a bit.
You'll figure it all out. You're a smart cookie.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
