I had attended a DB party about 11 months after Ex left me. I went to the party with the intention of picking everyone's brains (there were over 40 DBers there, all from the MLC forum) so that I could be the one who did it. I would save my marriage. Of that, I was certain. So many on the bb would talk about the MLC timeline and "when" my H would return. Not "if", but "when". That is one reason I have posted on here from time to time that THERE ARE NO CERTAINTIES. I think it was because I believed with certainty that he would return. The stats are much much different and so I was told at the party. When someone suggested he MIGHT NOT return, I fell apart. It was my first realization that there were no guarantees. Yes, I had read that but I was sure mine would be the one. I know I was being quite naive but without faith - I wouldn't be able to do it anyway. I just think that everyone should realize that they COULD save their M, but it is not certain.
So, the party, just prior to the birthday party/gardener incident also propelled me forward. Of the 40 or so people there - 1 had saved her M. But he had never left. Just had the affair. That spoke volumes to me.
Again, I am not trying to take away anyone's hope. Just trying to show the facts.
