I was hoping that you would post to me. You are quite familiar with my situation and can remember the months/years of torment I endured with the MLC monster.
Reconnect was probably the wrong word for me to use because that's not really what I meant. More like - making peace. I would like him to realize how much he put us through and acknowledge that some day to me. Not sure if its ever likely or possible. It is strange how suddenly their loyalty changes to OW. She is, now, of course "his wife", though neither obviously has much respect for the sanctitiy of M. He tells the kids he can't do certain things because of "his wife". His loyalty to her overrides anything that came before. I find that strange.
I wrote a few months back about one of the Mom's at my dance school. Her son (Ryan's age) was born with a heart condition, Down's syndrome and needed open heart surgery as an infant. Dad couldn't cope. Took off with a lover. Left Mary to deal with it all - hospital, disabled child and a 5 year old to boot. He was nasty and unsupportive. Fast forward 22 years. He has been in 2 subsequent marriages. Finally became a good dad to Christopher (who is now 27 years old - he missed out on him being a kid). He recently apologized to Mary for all he put her through. He has had a realization and wants to make it up. She, of course, keeps him at arm's length but does appreciate his R with his son. As we all do. Another strange thing in their situation - the OW, long since divorced from her ex, ALSO came and apologized. Imagine that!!!!
No 2 situations are alike I know and for as much as the MLC behaviour can be text book, none of us really knows for sure what is going to happen.
My only hope is that we CAN be civil at functions we both will attend. I shudder when I think of more grads (we've already had 5 since he left), weddings, birth of grandchildren, baptisms, birthday parties etc. These are supposed to be happy occasions. Divorce sure takes the joy out of it.
