Thanks to everyone who posted - I appreciate your input. Haven't been too involved with MLC for a while (some things we would rather forget), but when he does poke his head out - it makes me wonder why sometimes.
I'm not feeling well today, kind of dizzy so I won't reply to everyone until I'm feeling better. But I have read each of your responses and you each make very valid points.
One thing I want to make clear is that his actions will not change anything that I am doing. It doesn't have that much effect on me. Still, we all want some kind of apology or affirmation from them sometime somewhere that they regret their actions. I know that not many of us will actually get this, but at some time down the road - it really would be nice. Wishing for too much?
Is the door open? NOPE. Not a crack. Not for any form of reconciliation. I do not want my ex back and have not for some time now. Ours was NOT a perfect M. My life is happier, easier without him. It is the difficulties he still tries to cause me that I would like to end. I do not antagonize him or make any form of contact. Still, he seems to try to make my life harder - as one of you pointed out - it's about control. And I know he can only get to me if I let him. I did let my guard down yesterday by answering the phone. I guess because it was my birthday and we all have those weak moments when we think we might actually get a sane person on the other end of the line.
And yes, the holidays do kick in some feelings no doubt. For him - they always did. And the funny thing is that both my dad and my brother in law had recently mentioned missing him as well. They both went on to add how they'd like to kick his butt for his horrible behaviour but they were talking about their own sense of loss.
And then we always have to wonder how long the bandaid can stay on despite the hot water they find themselves in at times. Yes, it is everyone's dream to have the OW kicked out. To see them break up. To some extent - I feel that way too. In my case she really made an extreme difference in everything that happened. She is VERY controlling. But, having given this a lot of thought, I don't really wish for them to break up (unless he dumped her for a new OW - now there's a dream come true LOL). The reason is simple - he would be hanging around more or try to. This man cannot be alone. That's one of the biggest problems. I DO NOT want that. But of course - he is connecting more with the kids than he has for a while. He had Ryan to his house. Then Ashley. No sign of OW. Oh, I'm sure she is still around, but it seems he is not quite as tied to her apron strings. Hmmmm... you have to wonder how long a R like that can last and yet - 5 years ago I was convinced it couldn't last 3 months. Silly me!
Anyway, no I'm not looking into this too seriously but we do like to have an idea what is going on with them once in a while when they start making contact once more.
I'll reply more later. For now, I need to lie down.
