Happy Bday! I am interested in your sitch and bet you have lots of wisdom for those of us just starting the journey.
I hope you can see your H for what he is right now, confused, unhappy, etc. One thing I have realized a year into this is that the OW is a drug and allows the MLCer to forget reality and the pain. I understand it, I also understand that it doesn't carry them any further than where they were when they started, it merely masks the problem.
WHile you have been dealing with the pain and unhappiness and grieving...working through it. He stopped when he picked up the OW. Now he has to work through on his own and he doesn't understand why you aren't in the same place.
It's like he took cold medicine for 5 years to cover the symptoms and now that he's stopped, the cold is still there.
