Thank you for your reply. I love all your ideas! It is so helpful to have the support of others going through similar situations. I have made some good progress lately and have tried my best to listen to him and ask him about his day and talk to him as a friend. Saturday when my hubby came over to pick up the kids, he kept staring at me and losing his train of thought (kinda funny really.) Through sheer stress, I have lost 20 lbs in 3.5 weeks (that stubborn last 20 lbs from my pregnancy 3 years ago-yeah!!!) So I am the same size now as when we met. I think that shocked him. I am always trying to look fabulous when he comes around. I also make sure that even when he comes over late to drop/pick something up, I am looking appealing in my PJ's. Anyway, normally I would seek reassurance in his compliments by implying I had lost weight or even asking what he was staring at, but this time I did not. I simply smiled and went on getting the girls bundled up to leave. (You know, when he first left, I thought I was doing all of this for him. I thought things were fine just the way they were. Now, sometimes I feel like I am doing things for myself as well. It is very strange not having him to worry about.) I have made it a point to make sure the house is looking immaculate and inviting when he arrives like you said. I also made a upholstered headboard for our bed that looks really fabulous (he looked a little flustered when he saw it :-)hehe) I have been trying to go out with my friends on the weekends but honestly, I am feeling a little uncomfortable. My friends all like to hit the bar scene and while I enjoy their company, it seems there is always some guy trying to pick me up. it just feels creepy? I am still much too in love with my husbsand to even enjoy the compliment, is that bad?
I love the idea about planning an event and taking pictures. That is great. My brother has invited the girls and I to come visit with him this weekend out of town. I think it is just what the doctor ordered. I need a little time away from home to relax and just be with my family.
I am slightly worried about my husband's newfound jealous streak. He seems to be very worried about where I am going and what I am doing (I give him very little information.) Like when he dropped the girls off on Sunday he came into the living room looked around, then went in to the kitchen and looked around and came bk to the foyer. I would love to know what he thought he might find (100's of beer bottles strung around, people hiding in the cabinets, condoms hung from the celing fan? WTF!) I try not to worry about whether or not he is upset. I have a tendency to mother him a little bit. I am trying to take the mindset "as long as I know I am improving myself, taking care of our children and being respectful of our marriage, then his feelings can not be my responsibility." The hard part is keeping my mind on other things. Everything I do reminds me of him. My mind will sometimes randomly find an old memory and then like clockwork, my stomach sinks and my heart jumps around in my chest. It takes every bit of my willpower to stop from calling him to tell him I was thinking of him. In fact, so much, that sometimes at the end of the day I feel completely drained from keeping myself in check. It is no secret I love my husband. It is just so impossibly hard to listen to him tell me how much he loves me and still be understanding about his space and issues. I feel like a one woman circus of emotion. I hope this gets better thanks again Me
