ok, I am a super confused mess. Just to recap from other posts, my husband of 9 years left with no warning. We were not fighting or having problems. He is getting ready to turn 30 and I think he is going through some kind of PRE-MLC? He says he needs time to think and space. He is extremely confused. He will tell me one minute that he loves me and wants to work on things and the next that it's completely over. Anyway, I read DB and have been applying the tactics for 2 weeks now (been gone 3 weeks.) I have been so proud of myself. I have not resorted to begging, pleading, or convincing. I have sat and listened to his issues and validated them to the best of my ability. I have even done a 180, by letting him fix his own problems (I am a fixer and he is used to me doing everything for him.) But now, I am stumped.
Last night, he called to let me know that he was going to have to do some work Saturday morning and would not be able to pick up our daughters until around 1 pm. I let him know that would be fine but to make sure if he was going to be later to let me know because I had made plans (dinner with female college friend.) HE LOST IT!!!! He went off saying that he could not believe I already had a date and he thought we were working on things (that was news to me? To my knowledge he hasnt made any efforts to work on anything) I got a little freaked out and managed to tell him that his asumption was incorrect and that I was going to dinner with a female friend and I did not have a date. He did not seem to believe me (BTW, there are no cheating issues-I have been a faithful wife for all 9 years and he knows that.) Then, he went on to say that when I was outside talking to my neighbor the day before(who's wife is one of my best friends) that I was flirting with him. When I said that was obsurd. He commented on me laughing and appearing to be having fun talking with them (when is this considered flirting?) He was being completely irrational. At the end of the conversation, he typically had to say something hurtful which was, "It doesnt matter anyway, cause we arent together." That really hurt but I just went on to ask him about his day. He seemed very upset but talked to me for about 3 or 4 minutes anyway. Despite my thoughts to ignore his outburst, I dont want him to think that I am cheating. I had to literally sit on my hands to keep from calling him back to reassure him that I was not interested in anyone else. I am still very much in love with my husband and want him to come home. DB says I need to show him I am happy and can move on with my life in a positive way while leaving room for him to reconcile patiently, but this is way out in left field. Is this a good reaction on his part or a bad one? Has anyone else had a similar situation happen? I need some support and advice. PLEASE HELP????
