Focus on the positive. You have many of them in your sitch. You know that.
Here is another way to look at things;
If your H were to come home tomorrow, do you believe, you would be able to sustain the changes you are doing now or would you slowly fall back into old tendancies?
You see, it is the effort you put forth into YOU that makes all the difference. You need to be able to adopt a new attitude and sustain it from here forward. It is only with time, that you (and he) will be able to REALLY know if your changes are permanent.
We all want the hurt to go away yesterday! The attitude we have to develop is, this is our time. Our time to get ourselves back on track. Become the best sustainable sj, you can possibly be. Realize all that could be lost and make decisions based on where it is you want to be in the future. The most difficult thing to get a handle on is you can only make those changes in you. You can be a catalyst for change in your H, but he makes his own decisions on his own timeframe.
Also keep in mind your H was on his way out. He nows sees things he likes, but he is still hesitant. " Will this last? Is she just doing this until I come home and we're back to the same old thing?" Thoughts like these are bouncing around in his head. He will test the waters and then retreat. With each test he will wade in deeper. You may not notice, but just an increase in frequency is an indicator he is getting in deeper. Think baby steps, even 2 steps forward and sometimes two back, maybe three. Eventually, he will take three forward and one back. Things will oscillate for a time. You will KNOW when he really recommits. He may say it, but it will be his actions that will really show his return.
