Another thing to keep a handle on is expectations. Keep them very low if they involve your H. An expectation YOU have of him will give you your hardest time if they don't transpire.
Move forward with life and include your H as you see fit. Invite him as you would any of your friends. If a friend declined your invite, would it ruin your day? Think of the offer to your H in the same way. If he accepts, great, if he declines, that is OK too. And above all, FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE EVENT. This is part of you moving forward and detaching. Show him you are fun even if he isn't in attendance. Just realize he may not be at the same commitment level as you are at the moment.
All these things create mystery. He may not join you, but I garuantee he will be thinking about it. When he inquires, state what a great time you had. Include the kids as much as possible in your plans. Even things as simple as the park, snowball fights, sliding, skating can all leave a sense of wanting from him. Just go and have fun and let him know little bits and pieces.
Also, as he draws closer, let HIM ask about the R. Let him bring it up, on his terms. Keep doing what works.
