You get some good pointers from others on the board so I don't have much to add.
But, let me play a little with symantics. In your first post you say something like "preparing yourself to be dissapointed". Let me give you a thought - how about thinking about it this way "I've eliminated all of my expectations and therefore I cannot be disappointed".
This, while not easy, may have a couple fold affect. First, it takes your frame out of the negative - to me it is wasted energy sitting around waiting to be disappointed. When you eliminate the expectation, it helps to manage through disappointment.
Secondly, reducing expectations is what unconditional love is all about and I've found that my WAS noticed this and it took a huge amount of pressure off of her (oddly enough). Because I started living my life for me, a by product was I became happier and more interesting to be around. This is what took brick by brick out of her "wall" of resistance and began to build a trust between us that had been broken (by me first, then her).
I won't tell you that it is easy - but you seem to be doing the right things - do more of what works, and elminate what doesn't and most of all, be patient. It took almost 8 months for my WAW to fully "recommit" after we agreed that I would move back and we would work on the M. Time and patience are your ally.
Good luck - and keep posting to this thread - there are a lot of great people here who are working through it - some have already chimed in.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
