My Sitch - very very long post

[flip]

I so sorry for what you've gone through. These cheating spouses just make me so damn angry sometimes! My H was a little different in that he left me almost as soon as he fell for the OW. I do tend to believe that he didn't start a PA until he had told me he wanted a D (a whole 2 months after I knew there was ANY problem with our M).

So in that sense there wasn't the months of ongoing lying that you've had to deal with. I can only image how hard it is to regain trust after that and no, you're certainly not crazy! I do have to deal with the knowledge that they are still together, making a life for themselves, but it's certainly a lot easier now, than when I found out back in July.

I recommend an excellent book called 'Not Just Friends' by Shirley Glass. It's based on a lot of detailed research. It helped me to understand what my H did and why and there's alot about healing and recovering your M.
I had Joann as a coach too for a couple of sessions, although my DB efforts have fallen on deaf ears!