Quote: I want to be able to worship God without obsticle
The "obstacle" is quite likely not going to move. This is your test. God does not always move the mountain for you. But you can rest assured He has made available to you every single thing it will take to walk around it, scale it or move it yourself. If it were not so, the obstacle would not have been there in the first place.
Quote: I want to understand how something I have always considered 'out of the question' became a way of life for 2 yrs.
I am a believer that had an affair and I used to ask a similar question. How could I do that? Moreover, how could God "let" me do that? The truth is that I made a choice to walk into "willful sin" but God being the merciful God that He is, has been true to His Word and when I turned away from that sin and back to Him, He took what was meant for my destruction and He is working it for my good in some truly amazing ways.
You want real answers to why you're in your present situation? My guess is you'll find them in the mirror just like I did. And what you find there, if you look closely enough, is what'll drive you to your knees.
