Observation and Caution

[FaithfulH]

imLin, Does this mean our "date" is off?

Seriously, I understand your concern and will say that I have worried at times whether I would have the strength to do what DBing/GALing requires...instead of giving in to the temptation to seek companionship early in the process. I will say that God has amazed me because He has strengthened me more and more every day...and I still feel like I have a long way to go before I am able to have a healthy relationship...even with my WAW if she were to decide to try.

I just started listening to David Schnarch's "Secrets of a Passionate Marriage" on audio CD and he talks about 4 key things that we need to be able to do before we can have a healthy relationship (I'll paraphrase):

1) Understand who we are as individuals
2) Be able to handle our own "issues" instead of relying on others (1 & 2 sound like GAL and PMA, huh?)
3) Stop reacting to everything another person says or does (sounds like detaching, huh?)
4) Sorry...don't remember 4...but, it was something like "be vulnerable"

[Any Passionate Marriage disciples?...feel free to correct]

My point is that we must be able to work through these 4 steps...or the DB, GAL, PMA, Detach, Act As If steps to get to a point where we can have a thriving relationship. It is clear to me that I started the DB approach ONLY to try to win my W back...but it has now become MY journey to a better place with or without her. I am too excited about continuing this journey to mess it up by thinking about another R now or any time soon....although it is fun to flirt with all of the beautiful ladies here (sorry).