Corri, toughlove may indeed be in order, but I see you being way too tough on yourself. It's as if you've been lost in a blizzard, or stranded in a snowdrift, and now that you've found your way to the fire, you are using the pointy toed shoes on yourself. I hope you will use more forgiveness and compassion toward yourself. Your tone is very stern when you're talking about yourself.
Taking a break from here from time to time is good, and I surely understand this site as a diversion-- I'm very much guilty of that.
BUT there is NO need, absolutely NO NEED, to feel embarrassed in any way to admit that you're hurting. I want you to address the part of you that feels embarrassed and reassure her (as you would reassure the person found in the snowdrift or as you would address those two now-found kidnapped boys) that she has done nothing wrong... indeed that she IS nothing wrong. Forgive yourself over and over and over again and then over again-- and then again.
Kindness, compassion, love-- that's what Corri needs from Corri.
If AA is too scary (and well it might be), go to alanon instead, or simply the browse www.soberrecovery.com message boards.
