just don't feel right about the sit today and honestly don't know why, there is no reason, nothing saying things are bad, just me today not feeling possitive about the sit, thoughts of ow in my head, thoughts of h still talking to and or seeing ow, thoughts of this all being a facade and h never comming home just dragging me along.

went to c session last night, on my way there h called on the two way (nextel cell phone function like a cb) "hey lady" so i ask him if theres anything interesting i could send along to c from him, he says "i'm enjoying the time i'm spending with you, and the time we are spending as a family and getting comfortable with that, so that is where i am" ok sounds good. h calls again shortly after i get out of c session, he is also on his way home. so we go out with mil and fil, eat and then bowl, they are an interesting couple to be with as they seem to be just now piecing their own marriage together... had a decent evening h did as well and said we should do it again "soon!" left this am kisses and hugs for all three of us. called this afternoon about aol account not working bla bla bla... he just seems distant... could simply be that he is busy with work and the expected bad weather this weekend is going to complicate his schedule. he is stressed by work and I'm sure that even though he does not talk about our sit it is stressing him as well.
I feel horrible for thinking it but I wish ow would just get on with her disease and die. then the only question in h's mind would be if he can be a h at all and not who to be with. I don't think at this point h would choose to be with her instead of me, let's face the facts, she is ill, has her own two kids and no doubt would be even more needy than i "was" hell she had an ea with him... i didn't do that she is giving up on her h (for no good reason) i haven't given up on my h and honestly have good reason (don't I)
anyway just feeling down today about the sit, doesn't help much that h has been getting here late (7pmish) but hey at least he's comming and not falling asleep when he does get here.
i think i just need to realize yes there is a sit with h and I, BUT h also runs a business and that adds stress to his life and it is not ME that is causing his blaaaaness.
LL