Corri, thank you so much for sharing that with us... I can also relate to the self-loathing and the numbing to escape it. I often want oblivion. I don't drink anymore because mybf is a recovering alcoholic, but I used to in the past-- a LOT. I'd go through a 1.5 liter bottle of wine by myself every night. All day I'd be in pain and look forward to being at home alone with that bottle of wine. The self-loathing is so painful, you just want to get away from it. Please check in often and let us know how you're doing. Your insights are so valuable to all of us. ((((Hugs))))
