glad to be back online. just got my chance since H's been using the pc for a couple of days now... installing.....downloading got his attention for a while.
so now things are calm, just don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. since it's just the way our M was before the A. if i was taken for granted in the M, it's much worse. it's like i totally don't exist anymore. we don't talk, i'm in the bedroom and he's outside, if i'm awake he's sleeping.
is that he's new way of coping now? i feel like i'm working on the M alone and singlehandedly. i don't know....i'm confused. i said something negative about the A during our talk, he replied by saying "is that what you're told to do". it's just so difficult, and i'm back to square one. BUT I'M HANGIN' ON .
btw, thanks for your insights and feedback.
the movie -- The Secret is not available yet in this country...but i'll keep looking. i'll also try to look for the books you recommended. i'm journalling too.
it's my mother-in-law's b-day this friday (TOMRROW). everybody's invited to the party. don't know if could go (depends on my hospital duty), even if i could go, i'm just too ashamed, to face his family especially those who already knew about the A. I DO NOT WISH TO GO .
i said something negative about the A during our talk, he replied by saying "is that what you're told to do". it's just so difficult, and i'm back to square one. BUT I'M HANGIN' ON . 
