Quote: [ also realize that it will take about a year for me to be at ease about the whole thing, but the pain will be gone. It will take a long time for your H. Just be patient, continue to SHOW him that you love him. THAT is so important. I still need my W to SHOW me she loves me after she flips her lid at times, just so I can gain the confidence I had before her blow up. But it also helps to build new trust and confidence in me. Keep reassuring, and do it in different ways. /quote] -----------------------------------------------------------
dunno how to keep reassuring H that i love him and not the OM. but i hug and kiss him while he sleeps and when he wakes up. i wrote to him to asking him if he could let me hug and kiss him even though he doesn't want to. i try to prepare his food even when he wants the hskeeper to do it. but isn't it pushing myself to him???
H lashed out on me again this morning. kept asking about every little detail of what happend during the affair. about how the "sex" went on, things i did to the OM. told him as honestly as i can. he got angry cause i told him there some details that i forgot or can't remember. for one: i can't desribe how i the kissing went on or on what particular part of the body......does anybody keep records of that????....i think it's crazy....what do u think???? he told me to do what i did with the OM, and i did. dunno if it's a good thing or would help in DBing.
anyway, i give him all the space he needs. don't talk to him if he doesn't want to. i just continue with what i can do with my studies. i still wanna graduate u know and spend the rest of the time with the Ds.
i went over your recent post. i'm happy for you. it's nice that your W wants you to come and get her. it shows that you are important to her and wants to share that "something" with you. it's nice that you exercised again. that's showing you taking care of yourself at the same time. my H now does the same. just dunno when i could get the time and motivation to jog again. there's just so many things in my mind. i'm a worrier, i worry a lot and think of the posibilities that my DBing won't work, my kids, my schooling just about anything now.
cherish your moments with your kids. i'm doing that too now. i prepared their snacks just a moment ago and watch tv with them. that's just about what i can do for now being "broke". i hope they won't forget this day.
